October 12, 11:20 2025
I made this site using chat gpt, and its going pretty good, i dont know were ill go with the site but besides doing nothing, playing helldivers 2, gooning lmao and watching random twitch streamers , it gives me something to do and look foward too. i still dont knw what im gonna do for work, everytime i wake up, looking for a job just dosnt fit something i feel like doing... its tough im always overthinking every little detail of my life like every second i breath. and having no income sucks, and im only getting older which stresses me out more.i dont really know how this neocitie site works, but ive seen other peoples sites and there pretty cool, it inspired me to make my own little diary section for my site, i know this isnt work. nothing besides work, is work, but i hope people enjoy my site , and i hope it can bring me a little happiness i been looking for :)
October 12, 11:25 2025
I'll try and continue writing my thoughts and updating my site, even if no one else sees it :3.
October 13, 9:41pm 2025
Im, in my own head again... just thinking about, what i should do, and also about this site. i got some traction on it, and thats super cool 144 views!, but i wander how many are just me?. i wasnt sure if i wanted to make another journal entry..., but here i am. i just felt like venting, though i wont be getting to personal with this journal. not only to protect myself, but iv just been in so many dark places, i just dont thing people would understand if im honest. but basically i just been struggling with unemployment stress, if thats a thing. i know i "need" a job, i just dont know how to say i dont want one... anyways today i did some walking on my driveway, look at me trying to be healthy... lol. it was hard, like i just really didnt want to be outside and walking. heard some music while doing it but juice wrlds music just didnt hit the same, anyways thats been me, michael, i hope you enjoy ur day 😊♥️
October 14, 8:43am 2025
im thinking of what the perks of a job would be. i could use it to buy stuff i want, and hopefully not buy useless junk in the process. i wrote down a few things i could think about, which include, cokes, ramen, pc parts/upgrades, a subscription for this site maybe :3, and weed even though i never had the best experiences with it and i end up making my anhedonia worse, i usually have a craving for it tho. oh and did i mention, video games, i spend the magority of my time watching big streamers play games, it would be cool if i could play some :). anyways those are the perks of a job i could think of, even though i know i should look at it as survival.., this is the only way rn i could think of getting my motivation up. i saw online that i should be job searching daily or at least applying, but that seems so nerve wrecking, idk why im like this...i could also think of it as a way to help my family financially, but i think there well off, they had some irs issues in the past i know of but rn i think there ok now, i would apply somewere but i just wanna know im ready, and actually wanna work, otherwise im just gonna probably be suffering, :p. thats the end of this entry..
October 12, 8:17pm 2025
were do i start ... ?? ... today was okay.. didnt apply anywere but i looked at indeed... idk how im supposed to know were i would work? wendys hiring, little ceasers.. cant go there again... and mostly just fast food joints. everything else seems too, idk scary i guess.. well everything feels scary but i dont wanna work in the food industry again... sucks to think im making others suffer with me, probably just my parents tho, i hope my cousins doing ok, havent heard from him in a bit... i walked outside a bit more today, but i dont wanna focus on numbers, just rather do something rather than nothing... anyways i dont wanna make this entry too depressing, i hope anybody whos reading this has a good day today, and any other day too :) if i could take one positive thing about my day is that im safe, and thats really all that matters. :) ✌️